'Remembering Freddie' - a new book about Freddie Mercury (by Mercury Roadrunner)

FREDDIE’S LAST DAYS

Peter Freestone: 

- what was the biggest difference I noticed in Freddie after he found out he was ill


I really noticed Freddie concentrated more on getting things done, and spent most of his time making music. Music was Freddie’s life, and I believe it was this love of music that gave him, and all of us, the extra time we got. Remember, we were told in October 1989 that Freddie might not see Christmas 1989, but he confounded the doctors and spent another 1 ½ years recording.


- How the statement of Freddie having AIDS was released


On Friday 22nd November Freddie asked Jim Beach to come to Garden Lodge. Jim arrived about 10.00 and went up to Freddie’s bedroom suite. Freddie and Jim talked together for about 4-5 hours. About 14.30 Jim Beach came downstairs and met Jim Hutton, Joe Fanelli and myself in the kitchen and told us about the discussion that Freddie and he had just had. He told us that a statement would be released saying that Freddie had AIDS. Jim wanted us to be prepared for what was going to happen as regards the press at the door, and that the friends and family would know we all had been lying about Freddie’s health. The precise wording was what had been decided by Jim and Freddie and it was released to the press at 20.00 that evening.


- What Freddie’s mood was like during the last few days


I think quiet is the best word to describe that time. I don’t think anyone could describe exactly what Freddie was feeling as it was him who was waiting for the end. Unless you are in this situation it would be impossible to know. There was not any laughter like in the old days obviously, but I never felt he was scared of what was to come. There was perhaps a feeling of inevitability, but even then none of us, Freddie included knew exactly how much time Freddie had left. As you all know, people were with him 24 hours a day for the last week, and we all had the same experience, Freddie would chat a little sometimes, but was quiet for the most part.


- If the bone breaking in his last hours contributed to Freddie’s demise


There was almost certainly no bone broken, then or at any time while I worked for Freddie. I think the noise Jim heard was a tendon cracking, like when you move one of your joints, ankle, knee or something and you hear a clicking sound. The death certificate definitely states cause of death as bronchopneumonia.


- Was Freddie blind at the time of his passing?


This is not true. One of the common side effects of HIV/AIDS is loss of vision, but Freddie received treatment for this for a couple of years which held back the total loss of sight. He did lose some of his visual acuity, but he could still see. Freddie only noticed that there was a difference when he went to walk down some white marble steps and couldn’t fully distinguish the distance between each one, which can happen to anyone particularly if the sun is ahead of you.


- If Freddie was at peace when he passed away


I believe he was at peace with himself. Freddie decided to stop his medication on his own terms. He knew the consequences of his actions and had the time then to talk with friends and family and say his goodbyes. No-one knew how much time he had left on the 10th November, but he must have understood his body and what it was feeling as the days passed. He made all his arrangements and sorted out the statement to the world during those two weeks, and I think he just felt and knew it was his time.


- What are your last memories of Freddie?


Since Freddie got back from Switzerland on November the 10th, he basically stopped eating and drinking. He would have a little bit, but that’s it. So, of course, he was tired, he had no energy. Most of the time he had short sleeps, short sleep –wake up, short sleep – wake up.

In those last two weeks, except for his needs, the only other time Freddie left his room, was when Terry carried him downstairs, on the Wednesday, 20th of November, because he just wanted to look around the main room, he just wanted to have a last look at paintings, at the crystal. He just wanted to spend some more time in that huge room where he felt most comfortable.


The last week of Freddie’s life he was actually never alone, because between Joe, Jim and myself, we would spend twelve hours with him and there was always one of us with him. We did the shifts from eight in the evening till eight in the morning.
The last time that I was with him was on the Friday night.
And on that Friday night I got there just before eight o’clock.
And, you have to remember, that at eight o’clock the statement was released to the world that Freddie had AIDS.
The thing is, those hours I was with him, he was the most relaxed I had seen him in years, because there was no secret anymore, the whole world knew.
And he would just talk about anything, he would be in bed, I would be sitting on the bed next to him and I would be just holding his hand.
The television was on, just for some noise, he would talk and he would go to sleep and talk and go to sleep.
And we talked about silly little things, nothing really serious, and nothing like “we knew everything was coming to an end”, there was none of that.

He could still talk fine, his mind was together, he just was very-very tired.


But, I think, because the statement had been done, I think Freddie felt that it was time for him to go...

Because it was coming up for eight o’clock and I think it was Joe coming in at that point, Joe was coming at eight, and I said to Freddie something like “Look, okay, I’m going now, Joe is going to be here, but, of course, I’ll see you, I’ll see you soon”,

- he said something like “uhum, yeah, yeah”.


And then -

he just took my hand,
looked me straight in the eye
and just said

“Thank you”

And I will never know, whether he already decided that we would never meet again,

and was thanking me for the last twelve years,

or if he was just thanking me for the last twelve hours...

But I have a feeling that he already knew that we would not see each other again.